he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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