Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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