Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
