who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I wish I only lived at night.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
