stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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