This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
