Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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