dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
