Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
