You don't have asthma, your pregnant
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
