youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Randomize
