Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
