so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
This girl is more easily done than said...
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
