I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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