I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
