Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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