well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
People with herpes should wear stickers.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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