you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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