I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize
