I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
The police scanner is talking about you again....
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
