from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
