This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
