to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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