i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
