are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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