Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
