in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
