I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Randomize
