Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
