so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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