Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
