He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
