so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
