I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm at about main and main street
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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