Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
