It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
