Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
