I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
