I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
