Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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