About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
i out mim tonsoeep
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
