Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
