I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
