I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
