it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
