Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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