he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
