Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
