Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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