I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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